"Love is the flower - you've got to let grow." - John Lennon

"You write well"

"Did you understand"

"I didn't, and I don't want to either"

Three lines and yet they can mean so much. I'm asked why I think or feel the way i do..but ever so often I come across conversations or just general passings like these and I feel..what else can I do?When somethings' right there in your face, as clear as the sunlight that brightens what was once dark you can't help but see it. It's as simple as that.

Reasoning with things like this will be taking the fool's way out.

With love you can set the world apart

With love you can conquer all limitations

With love you can make the world go around

But take caution, with love you can make the world stop

Some of the greatest art has taken root from Love

From the feeling of love

But none have succeeded in putting it down to a definition.

For some it's sacrifice

For some it's a search

For many, it's the only reason to live

For some it's a pursuit which is second only to that longing one has for god

Some search for it

Some acheive it

Some deny it's existence

Some, lose it.

And when love is lost..it creates havock

No, words can even begin to portray what love is

We can discuss it at length and not get tiered

It feels both wonderful and terrible at the same time.

It has the power to destroy the very being it's giving life to

"Things base and vile, holding no quantity, Love can transpose to form and dignity. Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." - William Shakespeare

An Eternal Accomplice

She crept up on me the day i first breathed

She made me alive

She took over a peice of my heart

and has increased her space there since

Slowly..her clutch on my heart increases

In the darkest of hours she held my hand

Never let me go numb

She spoke to me in lonely hours

She has been my sole companion at my waking hours for a while now

Hers is the hand that rocked my cradle

and hers will be the hand that lights up my funeral pyre

She is ever present,

in bliss, in laughter, in madness

who is she you wonder?

she rises when all else falls

she takes precedence over all that the heart feels

Longing, Love, Hate, Happiness

Some know her as misery

Some call her sorrow

She makes the bed our soul rests on

We live because she makes us live.

What is?

Hear me, i speak for all who stand in doubt

They say it takes two to make love

I say it also takes two to break it

They say it takes a lifetime to build trust

I say it takes less than a sigh to break it

They say life can go on inspite of loss

I say it goes on but at the gravest cost, a crushing of the spirit

They say life has it's ups and downs,

I say life is the downs, the ups are just added incentive

They say nothings meant to last forever

I say sorrow and shame does

They say death is just a process

I say its loss impersonated

Who is to decide what life and its intricacies mean?

Not them, Not I...

Experience

You can only understand what freedom is once you have faced subordination

Love is best understood from lack of it

Only loss can make you understand the importance of something?

How fickle is the human mind?

This ones hard to figure...

its one thing when you laugh at hard times gone by and move on..
its a whole new deal when hard times turn around and make you the sucker getting laughed at.
when the hard times come they don't go easy.
when happy times come they slip away like quicksand
when your bored, times a torture
when your angry time paces
when your at peace...
times short...never quite enough

All the same

i stand here today
exactly where i stood a while back
i step forth
face down
looking at the ground
it seems to change beneath my feet
different contours
rising...falling
smooth rough
and when i gather enough courage to look up
i find myself exactly where i was
i fathom my treading is but an illusion
either that or the world around me is the same
every picture, every sunset, every winter, every summer
all the same
well someone said the worlds round
so what goes around come around
well, i have to say
i dont know about that,
all i know is that i stand here today
treading forward
but im not moving, im stagnant
a ever will be

FLY

She fluttered into life,
a sound escaped
meek but audible


She lay there cocooned in the arms of nature
the wind blew strong and she toppled over and fell
but whilst falling she learned to fly
a fool , she flew not away
she flew in circles round and round trying to keep her roots intact
and flies she still
not into freedom
for she must "hold the hand that holds her down"
and stay pinned to the circle she has been taking for years
One day though she might just escape to some new circle
some new land
to preserve her shattered cocoon
and survive the bond

Dearest

Life Dearest

Life, my dearest

Where would you have me go?

Iv been where you took me

To the brink of the cliffs over the storming maddening ocean

Iv been deep within the calm of that same ocean

Iv been on the rollercoaster to hell and heaven

Iv been with you to the very end of the world and back

Iv touched the horizon

Iv touched the dew on the smallest tenderest flower in the garden

Felt the last striving breath of a loved one on my arm

Ran my blood cold and yet it broke me

I have felt the cry of a newborn

Awakened to this world

I have seen the struggle between life and death

Of a man who brought up five daughters

With all the love he had

Only to see them suffer

At the hands of this harsh coarse world

Now my dearest where would you have me go??

We have been together

Here

There

Everywhere

Now my dearest, we must part and experience that which is beyond your reach

Maybe I will hold his hand, talk to him, love him, and get all my answers

Or maybe not

Because I do not know whether he exists

But life my dearest, there is someone out there, who deserves you better than i

Someone who needs you more than i

Someone who's loved one sits down to pray to him

Day and night to spare you for a loved one

To spare you so the loved can be everywhere that you have taken me

Go to them dearest,

For they will cherish you more than I ever could…

Goodbye my dearest

for the blessedly oblivious

write-speak-move for the blessedly oblivious..they see what they want to..dont stumble over their pride..they remain indifferent..or ignorant to reality..struggle they do but for reasons unknown or unexisting..a life adrift..a life they dont wake up to..they dont have to.they walk in a dream.dont blame them..they dont bleed as those who have unknowingly gambeld with fate..dont try to make them understand..i heard this great person said "experience holds its own sense of understanding".they know nuthing of it and yet they claim to have been there..suffered it...i laugh..no..i dont scorn them..i laugh because man can never be at peace..i laugh cuz they claim they suffer and yet they stay oblivious to the pain resulting from reality,with ears covered mouth closed they live..day after day night after night remaining obvious to their dream..they dont wake up to reality but try to create it in reality..i know you dont comprehend what i say..but then i dont write so u comprehend..i write to laugh off this dilemma that faces me everyday..i see them create problems and whimper about them..they beg for sympathy..or shall i say they need ur attention..they whimper and skulk when left alone...the day they do shake off this dream and come face to face with this macabre of reality..it will be doomsday..and so i bow low and pray..and hope they dont have to come to it..i write my freind for all of the world..for u and me and for the blessedly oblivious,may they dream and be happy forever..

dream boogie

dreams...ur dreams and mine arent all good.and ye they can be so divine...they can give u the life u want or disillusion u..make u go mad or show u ur best..u can be a hero and u can be a loser..u cant choose ur dreams..they come to u..iv had a dream..it sets me free and yet it makes me sad..seeps through my very bones and wakes me up inside..i have a dream...i know not of fear..i dream on...what tomorrow may bring..the end maybe near..so its time to get ur kicks before the whole world comes tumbling down..i dream of life..i run on soft moist grass...i chase little puppies...i soak p the sun...i cool my body at the stream..i drink of its water..im free...i stand free..the wind blowing against my face..my dream catches me when i fall..nothing can stop me now...iv been there to the dark moors...they dont scare me now...they give me life..they give me courage to fight..they give me the will to feel and not be numb...my strenght lies with the enemy....if i can fight that i know not what else there is to stop me...i love...i also hate...but i hate to survive..i hate so my eins be running warm blood in them...i love so that coldness may not take over...and yet both are so strong they make me wish i was caparisoned in numbness..i wish i wudnt feel...to loe so much it hurts...to hate so much it makes life horrible..its what life does to me...its what dreams remind me of...the world will never ever be the same for each person..i look around and i find it strange how ppl can be so versatile and yet similaer...there must be sumthing wrong with me i say wen my eyes are open to the world..why else cant i feel less..everything i feel is intense...but wen i close my eyes and dream...my dreams tell me its al right...i know now..theres a place i go when im alone...do whatever i want ...do whatever i feel...and the day i fall..i shall have lied it all...i have lived it all...but i am not content yet..i hae to vent my feelings before the end comes...i have so little tme and no words...u may wonder at the crabbedness of my writings..but this is not a sonnet or an epic i write..this is my mind...so judge not...i write not for ur benefit..i write to unveil my heart and mind...i write of an insufferable world...my world..

woman.

come here..give me ur hand..let me take u into my world...dont be afraid..u know it all dont u?u who has taken up the right to teach me..come let me guide u into my world...here we take a first step..see..here is where i lay in my mothers arm..wen u refused to see my face..i lay there struggling from my first breath..struggling to live..to survive..where are u at this time?why arent u here by my cradle?aaah i see..u r out there somewhere bemoaning my birth..the birth of yet another woman..no..dont step back..let me take u further..here..do u see?there sitting in the corner of ur bedroom..dat little girl..its me..do u see what im looking at?its u..teachin my mother how to be a good wife..my sisters how to be good daughters..oh we learnt how to be good daughters alright...to a mother who took ur blows..for us.you see how u unleashed ur teachings on us?there u are..dragging me by my hair..im sorry i spoke tot he boy next door...there she is...grabbin me back from ur clutches..the one rouble in our lives..my inspiration..see her face?aglow with love..come i will take u to the day that changed my whole life...but u went unscarred...come ill show u the macabre of my life...see..there she is again..my rouble...her eyes are sad and yet she looks happy..."i have a very good surprise for you!" she says...her face radiant with love..see..stop her shes closing the door..stop her i know what comes now..but bak then see how my face is glowing with anticipation??bam!what is it?rouble!..i crawl closer to my other sister...what happened?open the door!why did she lock the door?there at the window stands the cook.."something has happened to her..u shud come and see."..these words rent my guts out..come lets run tot he door and see...surely it cant be as bad as the cook said..my rouble is brave..she is the only one who showed u ur place..she is one who holds me wen i cry..nah..she must be playing some prank on me..her door is closed...loud music coming from her room..she loves the classics..ughh..whats this lying near t he refrigerator?peice of fish..no dont look away..u must come intot the room with me..i want u to know wvery detail of it..cuz u made it happen..u..no dont turn away..come..this is my macabre...open the door...why are there hair stuck in the fan??rotating as in a whirpool..there she is!!!!do u see her??brave..smilijng even in death..where is her forhead??its blown apart...its all over the room..in her hands she holds her rosary...and some papers...she is bleeding..the cupboard is filled with her blood...the room has her head all oveer it...do u see it now?u didnt dare to venture in then..come see it now as i saw it at the age on nine..rouble..what have u done?she lies there beautiful...prettier than anything i have ever seen...see look at her...she did this to stop u..but did u stop?come here look at my mother..there she is on the floor..evading her daughters death...her body...mumma im still here for u..i love u mumma..what else can i say to her...you have left us scarred for life...come i will take u to the years dat follow...there u are again telling me u love me...i have to say it bak..but i tell u now..i never loved u..u poor man...the one person u really love hates u..i pity u...see ur oldest daughter come home to u..her little child in her hands..weeping..i cannot even begin to describe how i wanted to kill u wen u beat her up because her husband tortured her...how co u feel?no..come with me and see how u filled my heart with steel...i want to thank u...u made me see the darker side so i never have to fear it...there u are beating up ur second daughter on the eve of her wedding...she has the wedding bangles in her hands and she is at ur feet....and there u are..with some strange woman in your room while ur two daughters cry for the mother at the door...come ill take u to a "family gathering"..see all the womens' faces..now see my mothers face?where is the happiness?her face wears a sad look...she hates living..but does she have a choice.come let me show u..do u see that?its the room where rouble had blown her head with ur rifle..see my mother sitting there?she has turned it into a prayer room..watch her sitting there on the floor..her hands folded head bowed in prayer..praying for us...forgiving u each day...dont hate him..he loves u..see..look over there..it'sme lying next to u while u sleep...crouched in one corner not daring to breathe lest u wake up..u r angry..why?ur clothes werent ironed right...no one answere at one call..sorry cudnt hear you..see look..there u are sitting..we are at ur feet beggin forgivness cuz ur brother let u down..no fault of ours but there we are..begging u to let s be in peace..begging for a morsel of happiness..i see u smile and then u frown again..no its not enough..let me mae them hurt a bit more..u sleep off..we lie awake all night dreading what the morning will bring..come ill show u...there u see my 3 year old neice..see u made her run till she fell to the ground unable to breathe..im there standing near u..longong to comfort the little girl but u wdnt let me..and come look..here u are..grabbing a litlle girls hair only to see wether she cries or not..its ur own cursed daughter...i stand between u and my mother..see...u want to batter her but u cant..i wont let u..no..never..there u are again...in my first boarding school..do u remember?u drove up all the way to come and thrash me in front of all my teachers and friends..i was 5 then..i missed my mother..and this was the comfort u gave me..but thank you..i wouldnt have been the person i am today if it werent for that..yes u love..but u love selfisshly..i see no pleasure in ur eyes now..but bak then i read every expression of urs..u were happy..u drank the happiness out of our very souls..like a snake watching its prey u hissed and drew the warmth far away from us..lleaving us cold..even on the warmest days... have scarred us for life..i smile a second and then a dagger stabs my heart and turns over..i see their faces..my moters devoid of all happiness..roubles..sad but at peace...my sisters'..their eyes..speak it all out...when ur loved ones suffer..the helplessness of it all makes u swallow tears of blood..i know..even wen u r gone..these ghosts will haunt me till the second i draw my last breath..i have seen my hell i fear it not..i thank you for it dear father.

MANKIND

what is man but a petty self lover..dont u love being praised??mankind..i wonder who framed the word..how can u feel superior to other living kind?where is the love and th expression of feelings dat made u superior?i see it no more,the warmth has fled from this world and left it empty for coldness to take over.the cold reigns here..strong in the heart of man..love..is but an illusion..how fickle is man to just give it so much importance and yet to just allude it when faced with it..love is for the self..the love for others is yet agin for the self..u love someone who means something to u..whom u need..u dont love someone whoz need u dont feel..love has fled..and given its place to selfishness..to greed and to hatred..the only love u feel is the twinkle in ur mothers eye wen she first holds u..in her arms..for some that twinkle lasts a lifetime..for some it just fades away a sec later wen she realises that this child is yet another burden..another responsibility...mankind..fickle to the core...why shud they need to feel responsible for someone else?i come first..i am my priority..

where u and i live

there is a world out there somewhere..though many may know not...it's not anyplace u have ever been...there's a world out there...where the day alightens with hope as its sun..it brightens the morning..it brightens their hearts..the hearts of those who are naive..this hope warms their hearts..they smile..maybe today will be the day wen all will be good...the mother looks down at the child cradeled in her arms..looks at him with hope..one day the child will grow up..grow up to love her..like no one ever did..this child will redeem her from all that went wrong...a hope to be happy...there is a world out there...a world of hope???it lasts for about a second...or an hour..or a whole lifetime...its a world where u and i get to live...find a reason to live..a reason to keep on striving..but this world deserts u..it deserts u wen things go wrong..it deserts u and u give up...what is dis world we live in about then...if not a constant rattling called life?u fight...fight from the day u are born..born widout ur own fault...given a name..even before u arrive in this world there are people planning ur own future..u r given a name years before u come down to this earth...ur fate has alot in store for u..even before u r born...a child has nothing to loose..but then again..who does?a child can grow up in love or be hated for being born..a child can be a burden or a blessing..u see as we grow up...we begin to leave behind our naivity our innocence.... but there is this world...the world of hope dat keeps coming bak to us...hope dat makes s think..maybe today it'll happen..just maybe

stoned immaculate

Senses run wild..cant focus n what’s goin on around me or inside me.this feeling of loosing control can be so divine and yet the bizarre can be scary.its not about how much weight u can lay on the bizzareness or the divinity of ur thoughts its about the thoughts what goes on in ur mind can create a whole sequence of emotions in just a few words..it can destroy u or make u numb towards that constant rattling of life…ur mind can take u on a rollercoaster toward death ur thoughts can make ur raunchy desires come true..the bizarre can make u ecstatic and at the same time it can make u too sensitive…

There is the truth and there is what u want t believe..sum things u can never change..like y people wont feel the way u do.or why u cant tell them what is goin on inside u..i dunno what can fix that..but I do know that no matter how u want this to change it wont..unless u find a way to break through that wall u have around u and be what u idealize to be..no but then when u becum dat too there will always be sumthing missing..sumthing not rite then ur gonna wanna change dat too..so what is life but a process of trying to make what u live perfect..u want a person but u need ur space from dat person..and wen u get that u feel what shall I say lost?hurt?we set our own limits and if the other cant conform to those we get hurt??so what is man an emotional mess?????those who learn to control these emotions…they live just like the gadgets around them..”meachanical mass”..im not negating life..im just showing it to u as I have seen it..not just in but also the people around me